A Friendly Reminder

Everyone struggles with the fact that they sometimes feel like they are not enough. They can't be everywhere, they can't do everything, they don't know everything etc.

It's bad enough when we get this way about ourselves but if you throw a dependent or loved one into the mix then those feelings of failure can become magnified a thousandfold as not only are you letting yourself down, but now you're letting someone else who depends on you down as well. Or so we tell ourselves.

The mind games we put ourselves through are amazing in themselves, not so much from a sense of wonder and awe but more from a sense of morbid fascination.

I spoke recently about ourselves being our own harshest critics and I'd like to continue that theme today as really there is just so much that can be discussed about that topic alone.

The pressure that a lot of us put ourselves under on a daily basis is phenomenal and it can range from getting the most menial of tasks perfect, like doing the hair and makeup, to situations that are beyond your control like getting caught in traffic on the way to a job interview etc. It's no wonder that today mental health and anxiety disorders are steadily on the rise and people are becoming more isolated, we're all so tightly wound that it's not going to take much for some of us to just SNAP over the slightest thing.

Who really is to blame though for this higher rate of anxiety and borderline obsessive drive towards perfectionism?

I mean sure, we've all been raised on a diet of sitcoms and Holywood movies where so many things are scripted just right, but over the last 15 years with the rise and domination of social media, we have seen people tailor the image of themselves that they put out into the world so extremely as for it to be a total disconnect from reality. Fuck even the incessant drain of the soul that is Reality TV and a lot of Mainstream News Media is contributing to the decline of the suitable concept of self and replacing it with the idea that we just aren't good enough. I would also argue that a lot of the self-help stuff out there is just as bad but that is a conversation for another time.

We are at that point now where an entire generation has been affected by this unreal shit that is being pumped out into the world.

It was bad enough back in the day when you would pick up one of those shitty magazines at most checkout aisles and see all of the beautiful people in them and you'd walk away feeling like garbage about it, nowadays it's in your face all the time from almost every conceivable angle and about almost every topic thanks to the Internet and the media's reach.

Hmmm, where was I going with this before it started turning into a rant........ ?
Ah, yes. 

So in our drive towards perfectionism, be it physical, mental, emotional, sexual, spiritual, financial, or whatever, we have become so wrapped up in the fact that we are not good enough and there is always something better, that we have forgotten to stop and take stock of what we have achieved, how far we have come, what good we have done and who we have helped along the way as we are too focused with what could be lurking over the horizon.
Sure there is nothing wrong with wanting to continue to better yourself but at what point does that trait begin to turn toxic?

Everyone has different thresholds when it comes to things like toxic positivity and "what about"-isms, and we all have different motivations that fuel that behaviour, be they the result of trauma, envy, emotional/mental abuse or a myriad of other reasons, the end result is always the same and that is a contorted self-image and disproportionate sense of self and almost a hollow feeling with something whispering away that "I will feel better when xyz happens or I buy such (and such) or Johnny Two-Shoes asks me out" etc.

Nothing will ever make you feel better about anything until you cut the shit and look at the real motivations behind your way of thinking and how it is serving you and those you care about, or is causing you pain and potentially hurting others.

Only once you examine your mindset like this can you begin plotting your course forward again at a more sustainable, realistic and holistic pace that can hopefully also help others. 

So just a friendly reminder for us all: I/You can't fix everything and I/you don't have all the answers and that is OK! There's nothing wrong with being that messy human being we are. Just relax, smell the roses, play with your kids or your pet and go watch that sunset. The world will keep on turning. Just simply be and breathe.

Oh yeah, and don't be a fuckwit!

Big love and chat soon xx 🦘🐨